Official launch of ‘Dash: Bitch of the Year’

So how did it go? Well, rather splendidly. The venue was amazing and the food and drink (kindly provided by Burgess pet care, http://www.burgesspetcare.co.uk/) was both abundant and great quality; there was also a fantastic turnout with close to eighty hot bodies; I read reasonably well; the Q&A went down a storm and we sold almost seventy copies of the book. So what went wrong? Well, Dash wouldn’t stay put (surprise, surprise). After a couple of minutes, she went walkabout in the theatre to greet all her friends. How could she resist? There was her ex-owner, her favourite neighbour, her sitter, her walking pals and a host of other people willing to lavish her with strokes. To tell the truth, I think she was probably on the scrounge for scraps as well. The day before the launch she’d been sick no less than four times in the lounge! This usually happens when she’s scavenged something particularly unsavoury in the street (I try to keep my eye on her, but sometimes she’s too quick). Fortunately, by the time of her star appearance, she seemed back to her old self, if slightly slimmer. The photographer snapped; the audience clapped and were very generous with their praise. Now that we’re finally here and the book is officially launched, I’m wondering if I should stop blogging. Perhaps I’ll give it just one more week …

It’s all happening!

This morning, a slim white envelope arrived in the post. The post mark had a crest of two seated dogs in profile, either side of the initials ‘KC’. The address of the sender was shown as Piccadilly, London W1.‘KC’ stands for the ‘Kennel Club’, the UK’s largest organisation dedicated to the health and welfare of dogs. They also host the world-famous dog show, Crufts, and inside the envelope was a special admission ticket for one dog (and handler) to attend this year’s event! So Dash and yours truly will be going to the largest dog show on Earth, with a whopping 160K visitors and who knows how many canines in attendance. She’ll have chance to rub shoulders and sniff the behinds of some of best-looking and fanciest pooches out there. How will she cope with all that attention? She’ll soak it up, I’m sure. Who knows, she may even end up gazing soulfully into the lens of a TV camera or two. All this is courtesy of Tuffies dog beds (www.tuffies.co.uk) who’d like us to make a guest appearance at their stand. More details to follow in a future posting. In the meantime, there’s the small matter of the official launch of ‘Dash: Bitch of the Year’! Tomorrow evening, upwards of 80 guests are expected at the Unicorn Theatre, Abingdon. The venue has a special resonance since it was the place where my wife Sarah and I got married, and where a certain speedy hound was our ring bearer. Let’s hope she performs as well tomorrow as she did on that amazing wedding day!

Every bitch deserves a bed

Just a few days after publication and Dash is already striking a superstar pose. Here she is reclining with a few signed copies of her book. For those not in the know, the funny angle of her paws is because she’s ‘roaching’. This is something all hounds do, but particularly greyhounds, and it involves them lying stretched out on their backs with all four paws in the air. Call it a sign of how supremely laid-back they are as pets. In Dash’s case, the only thing that saves it from being completely brazen is her habit of curling her tail back over her private parts. She’s a lady after all! This position of complete abandonment is also due to the fact that she now has a brand new bed. After two years of hard dozing, her previous one looked, felt and smelt decidedly unsavoury. A spot of internet research revealed a company based in Scotland called ‘Tuffies’ who produce a range of super-comfortable, waterproof and chew-proof beds. Although Dash has taken chunks out of chairs and table before now, she’s never actually chewed her bed. She does have the odd ‘leakage’ however – largely due to laziness. Sometimes it’s just too much trouble to get up and go outside to the toilet. Anyway, thanks to ‘Tuffies’ (www.tuffies.co.uk) the upshot is that she now spends most of the evening warm and dry, roaching happily in the lounge. I plan to take the bed next week and hope she does the same at the official launch of ‘Bitch of the Year’.

Publication day!!

Today’s the day – the book is out! The star herself wasted no time getting her nose (and what a nose!) stuck into it. On arrival of my author copies, I held up the cover for her to gauge her likeness. She sniffed; she sniffed again … and then she licked it. A most un-greyhoundlike show of slobbery affection. Or should that be narcissism? So here it is at last. All 300 plus pages of Dash’s story in black and white. I must say it looks exquisite. The ‘official’ launch is on 19th February, so I’ll continue to blog until then. In the meantime, let’s hope initial signs look good and the book flies of the bookshelves (both real and virtual) like an A1 champion out of the trap. Go, Dash, go – Bitch of the Year!!

Dash does a ‘full Bobby’

Like any dog, Dash regularly shakes when she gets up or goes outside. That loose-limbed, full-body shake which starts from the tip of her nose and ends in the corkscrewing of her tail. After she does it, she always looks slightly stunned. Sometimes, it’s done with such vigour that she turns one of her ear-flaps inside out. It folds back over her head and can stay there for up to ten minutes. This gives her the highly comical appearance of having a ‘comb-over’ hairstyle. There have been some legendary comb-overs in UK culture – Arthur Scargill, Rab C Nesbitt, Robert Robinson – but none to match the ex-England and Man Utd footballer, Bobby Charlton. For this reason, when Dash has one ear folded over, I’ve nicknamed it a ‘semi-Bobby’. Only once before has she ever accomplished a ‘full Bobby’ (i.e. both ears) and it lasted just a few seconds. Before today, that is. Going out to toilet at lunch, she shook herself and both ears magically folded over, staying that way long enough for me to grab the camera and record it for posterity. After I’d stopped laughing, it also made me think. I’d seen similar pictures of greyhounds which had just been rescued, but their ears weren’t folded over – they’d been cut off altogether. The reason for the mutilation is that all greyhounds contain an identifying tattoo in one ear. (If of Irish provenance, there’s a tattoo in both.) Cut off the ears and you conveniently make the dog untraceable, thereby avoiding prosecution. Pretty barbaric stuff. The book I’ve written (now due out next week!) doesn’t overtly tackle such issues, but education about the plight of ex-racing greyhounds is very much at the centre of the whole enterprise. Let’s hope in addition to enjoying a funny and romantic story, readers might appreciate what lovely pets that greyhounds can make and find room in their homes (and hearts) to take one in.