Dash the first-floor thief

You can’t keep a good dog down … or, in this case, downstairs. Dash has always been a ground-floor dog. Particularly in the new house – nice carpets and all that – we didn’t want her going upstairs and rooting round the bedrooms and my office. When we first adopted her, she didn’t even know how to climb the stairs. Accustomed to living life on the flat in kennels, retired racing greyhounds simply never encounter them. Things have changed, however, and it’s becoming harder to maintain the first floor as a ‘dog-free zone’. Only yesterday, Dash crept upstairs, sneaked past my office door and through the open stairgate into the bedroom of my toddler son, Freddy. Freddy himself was away at the childminder’s, so she took advantage of his absence to pilfer his favourite toy (pictured). The first I knew of it was a riot of squeaking and then silence. Bad girl; naughty bitch. Better improve your behaviour or there’ll be no book launch for you next month!

It’s official – Dash is now a ‘Supadog’

Dash has taken to standing under the table at mealtimes. She insinuates herself between the human and furniture legs, hoping for the odd dropped morsel. With my one-year-old son Freddy in attendance, dropped morsels are a distinct possibility. She’s choosy however – if it happens to be fruit or veg, forget it. Anything dairy, meaty or fishy disappears immediately. I’ve seen other greyhounds (particularly males) that will eat a little and then wander off, leaving the rest for later. Not Dash. She troughs at top speed until the metal bowl is so clean you could use it as a shaving mirror. When she was first adopted, it was a real struggle to find a brand of food that didn’t trouble her delicate digestion. It took us three months before we discovered something which filled up her front end and didn’t bother her back end, if you know what I mean! This was Supadog Sensitive from Burgess. We then graduated to Supadog Greyhound & Lurcher – specially formulated for ex-racers (high in fish oils for overworked joints; low in protein to reduce anxiety and hyperactivity). The nice thing is that Burgess also donates 20p for every pack sold to greyhound and lurcher rescue charities. If this sounds like an ad, well … it’s definitely an endorsement from a happy customer. And I’m delighted to say that Burgess has now agreed to sponsor the launch of Dash’s book! They’ll be providing wine and nibbles on the night. Hopefully the latter will prove as digestible as Dash’s daily intake … but somewhat tastier!

One month to go till publication!

Fact: dogs don’t like being dressed up. The funny thing about greyhounds, however, is that always wear such a stoical expression if you try it. Here’s a snap of Dash in her tinsel stole and bauble ear-rings. We were taking down the Christmas decorations and I couldn’t resist seeing what she’d look like with a festive makeover. Amused? Hardly. Classy? Maybe. In fact, there’s something of Bet Lynch about her (for those of you who still remember Corrie’s bedecked barmaid). But enough frippery, since we’re now just one month away from publication of ‘Dash: Bitch of the Year’. 2011 at last. According to the publisher, the orders are already coming in … and we’ve even got our first post-launch event scheduled. DAWG (a Bristol-based greyhound and lurcher rescue organization) has asked us to take part in a sponsored walk and then sign copies of the book. Luckily, I’ve already got Dash to do a pawprint for just such an occasion. I can’t say it was an easy thing to do – it involved experiments with poster paint, an ink pad and – eventually – shoe polish. The kitchen was covered in black smudges, but the resulting print was so good it might make it into the back of the book and a mini version could appear on the spine. Talk about making your mark!