On the first day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
a poo underneath a park tree.
On the second day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
two pigs’ ears … and a poo underneath a park tree.
On the third day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
three tail-wags … two pigs’ ears, and a poo underneath a park tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
four tattered toys … three tail-wags, two pigs’ ears, etc.
On the fifth day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
five cold licks … four tattered toys, three tail-wags, etc.
On the sixth day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
six garden sprints … five cold licks, four tattered toys, etc.
On the seventh day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
seven yelps at breakfast … six garden sprints, etc.
On the eighth day of Christmas, my greyhounds (if I had two) would give to me
eight legs-a-roaching … seven yelps at breakfast, etc.
On the ninth day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
nine whiffs of dog-breath … eight legs-a-roaching, etc.
On the tenth day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
ten rotten teeth … nine whiffs of dog-breath, etc.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
eleven nosey nudges … ten rotten teeth, etc.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my greyhound gave to me
twelve whines at midnight … eleven nosey nudges, etc.
Happy Hound-filled Christmas from Dash: Bitch of the Year!
